Questioning our faith.

Don't we all doubt our faith occasionally???  Wonder what it's all about and all that.  Question ourselves and wonder?? about everything.  God says to check ourselves.   So I often wonder.......about everything, God, angels, Lucifer, Jesus, Satin, spirits, etc.  I have a curious mind and want to know things.  And, yes I doubt my faith sometimes and I wonder......am I helping or hurting the people I have meant in my life.  (Hopefully helping)  You just never know the impact you have on someone with a simple smile or hello.

Many times in my life I have questions, and have asked God for the answers and sometimes I'm just not sure if it was God answering them or if it was otherwise.

Just simple things in life like getting a job, did God actually provide that job for me or was it because I search diligently for it.

I have asked God for healing for people in my life to no avail.  They have died and it grieves me so that they are no longer with us.  I often wonder why some are healed and others are not.  Why did he not heal my mom, why did he not heal my future daughter-in-laws aunt, why didn't he heal my dad, etc, etc.

These are things we cannot know.

Also, I wonder why God doesn't speak to us any more.   Does he even care, if so why doesn't he talk to us.   I'm not talking about that still small voice inside us, I'm talking about talking!

A conversation, whether it be audible or not, something to know for sure that God, Jesus is speaking.  I don't want a feeling, that is just not enough, I want to know for sure that I've actually heard from God.  The creator of the universe, the world and all that there is.  I want to know for sure that he actually gives a damn!!!!!!!!!.

Sometimes and a lot lately I don't think He does.

God has got my back?

I have heard people say that God has got my back.  What they mean by that I often wonder.

God has got my back to protect me from certain people, situations, etc.

Well to me God doesn't have your so called back unless you are truly following Him.  Why in the world would God have your back if you are not listening to Him.

God doesn't have you so called back, what ever that means, if you don't obey Him.   Your troubles will find you out sooner or later.  Like it or not, that is just the way it is.

My troubles have found me and now I'm working on them and have ask God to forgive me.  I know He has and is continually working on me.

I thank God daily for all things.

Searching for God

Often I wonder am I the only one trying to figure out God and understand Him.  I know that I am not, however it feels like that most of the time.   I watch and listen to others around me and it seems to me that they have it all figured out.  How God works in their lives and the lives of their loved ones.  I listen and listen and wonder why am I not hearing God when so many others are, on what seems to me a daily basis.

I study and I pray, I read about other religions and cultures for the bible says to study to prove yourself approved.  This of course is not an exact quote.  So I read and I read some more.  I’ve read mythology, about other religions,  history and so on.  I am currently reading a book that’s call “God is not one”.  It is very interesting, it talks about the worlds most popular religions and why we need them.  Although I haven’t finished it as of this writing I would recommend it anyway.  It explains the different religions and cultures, etc.  A very fascinating read.

In my searching and trying to understand and feelings of totally being rejected by God, I think I’ve come to a conclusion.  I may be totally wrong on this, no matter here it is.  Although I search and search, continually ask for proof (guidance, help, healing, job, finance, and anything else you can think of)I may be one of those who may never really feel or realize that God is there.

My thinking is to some extent that God is just out there watching and not having much to do with the human race.  I often wonder does he actually care what is going on with each and everyone of us on an individual basis.  How can anyone help but wonder that, especially when prayers aren’t answered.? 

God, or at least the Bible says we are to look to Him as a father figure.  What if your father sucked, does that mean God sucks.  Your father was a drunk or abusive, or not there and didn’t care.  Are we to look to God like that???!  If we looked at God like that, then what’s the use of even having a God or believing in him? 

I sincerely believe that needs to be reworded especially for those of us who have or had a father that wasn’t always there for us (oh yes maybe our dads loved us, another story altogether).   Maybe it should be stated something like this:  God is always there for you no matter what (something like a best friend maybe (even best friends will leave you or disappoint you).  Actually I’m not really sure how it should be worded for the simple fact is any scenario is really not accurate.

In conclusion I just want to say, I haven’t given up on God just yet, although sometimes I feel like it. 

So my question to God is:  Where are you and why is it so difficult for me to feel, see, hear you?  And:  Are you there God?  I know you are there somewhere, because you said you are, so where are you?  Anyway God I will continue to pursue! 

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Why God?

I have a question for God and anyone that wants to answer this would be ok with me.

Why God when we ask for you to fix us or to intervene, you do not respond, you do not anything.  Why God when I ask you to help me, to guide me I hear nothing from you.  Where are you God.  I’m supposed to trust you, how can I trust you when you never are around, when you never help, when you never intervene.

I wonder and I wonder, wonder, where are you?  Do you even exist, and if you do, do you even care and where are you.

At one point in my life, or maybe several, I looked to you for guidance, hope and someone to care for me, instruct me.  I have been asking my whole life, and still I come up empty.

Where are you God???????????  I haven’t left you, I’m searching and searching, but for some reason I can’t seem to find you!  Where are you???

You said Ask and you shall receive, well I’m asking and I’m not receiving.  I’m asking God where are you and why are you not being a part of my life.  Why are you so aloof.  Why are you not here with me, why do you avoid me?  What have I done God that you will not answer me.

Oh God I want so much to believe in you, you give me no reason to.  You wouldn’t heal my mother (although from what I’ve heard in testimonials you have healed others) but when it came to my mom you ignored our plea for her.

Yes, once again I am very angry with you God.  Angry that you didn’t heal Mom, angry that I’m not at a job that I really, really like, angry for a lot of things.

You gave a lot of promises in your word so called Bible, etc. however I’m not sure I have seen them yet.  Maybe Lord I’m looking for the so called impossible (I know nothings impossible with you, according to the Bible)   However Lord, I wonder and I wonder almost continually where you are in my times of trouble and why you don’t intervene!!!

Where are you God????????   Where are you????  I wish I knew.  I search and I search on a daily basis, I cannot seem to find you.  Where are you and do you even care.  I’m so tired, Lord oh so tired of trying to do what you want and trying to live life as you directed.  I really don’t know what to do anymore.  I just don’t know anymore.  I really wish, wish, almost that I would get a bolt of lighting from you, just so I knew that I was or am in your care.

I think you forgot about me God, I don’t know anymore,  I’m just as lost now as I was 30 yrs ago (give or take a few years).   I’m searching and searching, but I can’t seem to find you.  You said you would never leave or forsake us, I feel forsaken.  Where are you????????

I’m beginning to think God that you really don’t give a shit!  It’s been way too long God!!!  I’ve been trying to figure you out since before junior high, I’m close to 60 and I still can’t seem to figure you out or get close to you as others have (or did they).

Who are you God? What are you? And do you actually care?

This is written in hopes of a response.  If you would like to respond please do, I’m looking for answers.  Some question may not be able to be answered, no matter all comments and suggestions will be read. 

Thank you. 

Just Wondering

Do you ever just wonder where God is?  And what the heck He is doing.  I have!
Just curious what is your opinion on God and what the heck is he doing?

I have wondered many times where God is and what the heck he's doing.  He doesn't seem to be helping or assisting me in any way.   Is what I have been doing and getting a product of my own doing, or is God somehow involved?  And if God is actually involved in it why don't I know that????

It really puzzles me on this whole thing about God and what He's so called doing???!!!

I don't know what God is doing!!!  And I don't know if He actually cares what is going on in my life!!!  If He did well then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation.

This is something I struggle with on a daily basis.  Does God care and if he does why doesn't he help, why doesn't he talk to me and where in the world is he.

He's suppose to be a comforter, a guiding force, a help in times of trouble, a miracle worker, etc.  I don't see that.

WHERE IS GOD????  And why is He not answering my prayers.   Why is it constantly a daily struggle to believe in Him and trust Him?   I wish I knew!

Anyone out there have any suggestion other than just trust and obey or don't give up, just rely on God he will answer.

I don't want generic answers as listed above or other generic answers concerning that.  I want genuine answers.

I'm so tired and fed up with oh just trust God, he'll make it happen, just wait and see that the Lord is good, and all things work out for the glory of God.  Yeah, well that may be true, why don't I see it in my life.

What is the Glory of God, why doesn't he make it happen, why are things not working out in my life: and how can I give glory to God when my life is in such a shambles???

I don't think I will give up on God,  I'm just wondering on what God will help me with if anything.  Maybe, just maybe God will someday finally talk to me and answer me.

I do believe there is a God and that he is almighty, however I don't think (at least for now) He really gives a crab about what's going on in our lives.

Some more songs that I like from Don Francisco

How Long Must I Wait.

Psalm 27:14  Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yea wait for the Lord.

So I wondered how long are we supposed to wait on the Lord.  The answer I’ve come up with is till he answers.  However, the answer may not be what we want. 

There are times that we have been answered and we either didn’t hear or chose to ignore the answer because it wasn’t what we wanted to hear.

When we are going through troubled times and not hearing from God we have a tendency to start thinking that God never hears us and if he does he never answers or is ignoring us.  It is important at times like these that we stop this kind of thinking and recall to mind all the prayers he has already answered.

I’m not talking necessarily about big things, or what we don’t think as big things, because they actually are, we for some reason don’t see them that way and take them for granted.

Some examples are on your way to work in the morning you ask God to give you a sage trip there.  You get to work not involve in an accident, for some reason or another you left early or late in either case you were not involve in the accident, or you decided to take an alternative route to work just for a change of pace.  Ever wonder why some days you just go a different way to work or home.

How about when you sit down to eat, you say the blessing and thank God for the food he has provided.  He not only blesses the food for your nourishment and energy for what you need to do he also makes sure you don’t chock.

How about when your kids go outside to play (which is rare now-a days, so sad), you utter a little pray that He keeps your kids safe.  No major hurts, no one taken.  These are just a few examples, I’m sure you can think of a bunch of your own answer. 

God is with us, watches over us and he comforts us in time of trouble.  I know at the times we are going through our troubles, especially big ones we wonder and we ask, “How long, oh Lord, how long???  Then deep inside we hear his voice that says, “Be still and know that I am God, I have it under control.  Sometimes we weep, sometime we laugh, as we still ourselves and let God be in control.  It’s not always easy but we do it anyway.

If you’d like to share any of your answered prayers that would be great.

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Thanks.