Why God?

I have a question for God and anyone that wants to answer this would be ok with me.

Why God when we ask for you to fix us or to intervene, you do not respond, you do not anything.  Why God when I ask you to help me, to guide me I hear nothing from you.  Where are you God.  I’m supposed to trust you, how can I trust you when you never are around, when you never help, when you never intervene.

I wonder and I wonder, wonder, where are you?  Do you even exist, and if you do, do you even care and where are you.

At one point in my life, or maybe several, I looked to you for guidance, hope and someone to care for me, instruct me.  I have been asking my whole life, and still I come up empty.

Where are you God???????????  I haven’t left you, I’m searching and searching, but for some reason I can’t seem to find you!  Where are you???

You said Ask and you shall receive, well I’m asking and I’m not receiving.  I’m asking God where are you and why are you not being a part of my life.  Why are you so aloof.  Why are you not here with me, why do you avoid me?  What have I done God that you will not answer me.

Oh God I want so much to believe in you, you give me no reason to.  You wouldn’t heal my mother (although from what I’ve heard in testimonials you have healed others) but when it came to my mom you ignored our plea for her.

Yes, once again I am very angry with you God.  Angry that you didn’t heal Mom, angry that I’m not at a job that I really, really like, angry for a lot of things.

You gave a lot of promises in your word so called Bible, etc. however I’m not sure I have seen them yet.  Maybe Lord I’m looking for the so called impossible (I know nothings impossible with you, according to the Bible)   However Lord, I wonder and I wonder almost continually where you are in my times of trouble and why you don’t intervene!!!

Where are you God????????   Where are you????  I wish I knew.  I search and I search on a daily basis, I cannot seem to find you.  Where are you and do you even care.  I’m so tired, Lord oh so tired of trying to do what you want and trying to live life as you directed.  I really don’t know what to do anymore.  I just don’t know anymore.  I really wish, wish, almost that I would get a bolt of lighting from you, just so I knew that I was or am in your care.

I think you forgot about me God, I don’t know anymore,  I’m just as lost now as I was 30 yrs ago (give or take a few years).   I’m searching and searching, but I can’t seem to find you.  You said you would never leave or forsake us, I feel forsaken.  Where are you????????

I’m beginning to think God that you really don’t give a shit!  It’s been way too long God!!!  I’ve been trying to figure you out since before junior high, I’m close to 60 and I still can’t seem to figure you out or get close to you as others have (or did they).

Who are you God? What are you? And do you actually care?

This is written in hopes of a response.  If you would like to respond please do, I’m looking for answers.  Some question may not be able to be answered, no matter all comments and suggestions will be read. 

Thank you.