Relying on God.
We all wonder why things happen to us. I wrote about being evicted and not being able to find a decent job a few months ago. Now I know the reason. There comes a time in life when we must give up everything in order to do what were called to do. Sometimes it takes losing all that we own or close to it for God to get our attention.
My sister took me in around the end of January and though I search and went on several interviews I wasn’t able to land a decent job. I finally got a job as a housekeeper at one of the local hotel chains (oh my goodness talk about back breaking work). While there I continued to look for a better paying job, I didn’t find a better paying job however I did find a position with a local grocery store as cashier (not so hard on the back). I enjoyed working there, however I wasn’t getting enough hours nor was the pay that great, so I continued to scourer all the job sites, and look on company’s web sites to find a job making the kind of money I needed to get my own place again. Again I went on interviews, did follow-up with the employer and sometimes got a second interview, still nothing. Frustrating! To say the least, especially since I was well qualified for the positions I applied for.
My younger sister had been bugging me to move back to Florida for several years and I had been planning to, sometime, when I got around to it. I had a good job was comfortable wasn’t in a hurry to really go anywhere. Then one morning I decided to retire from that job and take a couple of years off and pick up work here and there through temporary agencies, I had enough money in my 401k and retirement to do that. I also picked up seasonal work around the holidays, that worked out for a little while. Then there were no jobs to be had, money ran out. Well as the saying goes the rest is history. I ended up living with my sister and her husband.
I’ve had my arguments with God, pleaded with Him and cried. I informed Him of His promise to provide for us (of course I’m thinking of what I wanted, not needed) and wanted to know why He wasn’t giving me what I needed (wanted). Well God lets us know in ways that we really don’t expect that He has provided for us and is giving us what we need. This occurred to me when I was going into Wal-Mart to find a shirt that I needed for work. There were a couple ladies standing out front collecting donations for homeless and battered women, I didn’t have much but I gave a couple dollars anyway and made the statement, “if it weren’t for God’s mercy I’d be out on the streets.” That’s when it hit me, I have a home to go to, I’m not living in a shelter with strangers, I have food to eat and I don’t have to wonder where my next meal is coming from. What was I complaining about?! Not to mention my older sister who had taken me in was paying for the storage unit that she got for me so I wouldn’t lose everything. I had no reason to complain. It’s so easy to complain isn’t it, when things don’t go the way we think they should.
My younger sister called again wanting me to come down; mom’s not doing to good. I had talked with mom and she was fine. (She’s a cancer survivor; however there are other things she’s battling now) My younger sister called me on a regular basis over the years to come down and has occasionally used illness to try to persuade me. I finally told her when it’s time for me to move back to Florida God will provide for me to come down not until then.
My youngest brother called and we talked about mom, in a roundabout way he mentioned me moving to Florida. I talked with my son and told him what I was thinking about doing, then later that day it came up again with my older sister. Both said the same thing: “I think that’s a great ideal.” Well no doubt in my mind that I needed to go. OK, then I’ll go. So I prayed and asked God what to do with all my stuff. I had taken over paying the storage unit since I had a job, but I knew I wouldn’t be working when I got to Florida and would have no way to pay for it and I wasn’t putting that burden back on my sister. Well back to craigslist I went and looked under the wanted section to see if anyone was looking for anything that I had to sell. One lady was looking for a sofa and love seat so I replied to her ad and heard nothing back. The second ad I saw was looking for a sofa, it was a charity setting up a home for disabled children and their family’s to stay while the children were receiving medical help. There was a phone number so I called. We made arrangements to meet at the storage unit. After talking with the director I found they needed everything, not only a sofa, also kitchen supply, towels, whatever is needed to set up a home, when you think about it that’s a lot of stuff. So I told him he could have it all and whatever they couldn’t use to sell and raise money for the home. My only stipulation for him to have it all was he had to take it all. He agreed.
The day he sent a truck over it looked like it was going to rain, they took the sofa and love seat first and the driver stated that they better hurry and get it back before it started to rain. I made a simple statement it’s not going to rain. From looking at the sky that statement wasn’t to be believed. I knew it wouldn’t rain because God wouldn’t have provided me a place to give it to and then destroy it by allowing it to rain on it. They had to make a few trips to pick up everything. The sky cleared and the unit was empty and I had the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.
That Saturday I left for Florida. I’m here with mom (about a month now) and she’s doing a lot better, she has her good days and her bad days, but in the short time I’ve been here she has been improving and having a lot more good days in a row. Praise God for that. I know God sent me here to be with her and to help her; however I also know he sent me here for my brothers and sisters that are here also. I come from a family of six.
When I finally said OK Lord I give up, I’ve made a mess of my life you take over because I can’t do it anymore and quite frankly I don’t want to because I keep screwing it up. I accepted Christ as my savior over 30 yrs ago and it took me way too long to give Him total control and rely on Him for what’s best for me. If we would just listen to God all the time and not just some of the time life would be so much easier. You know the feeling when you know you should or should not do something, that’s God speaking to you. If you don’t do what you should or do what you shouldn’t you say to yourself I knew I shouldn’t have done that or I knew I should have done that. I’ve done it many times and probably will again.
Hope you enjoyed the read, have a great day.
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